Weekend Roundup

In sad news this week, Kanye West's mother, Donda West, passed away Saturday. She died as the result of complications with cosmetic surgery, her publicist confirmed to CNN today. Donda was chairwoman of Chicago State University's English department before leaving her post to become Kanye's manager in 2004. She also served as chairwoman of the Kanye West Foundation, an educational nonprofit helping decrease dropout rates and improve literacy. Donda recently released a book entitled Raising Kanye: Life Lessons from the Mother of a Hip-Hop Star.

- Britney Spears may have failed a drug test. I no longer know if I'm reporting on Britney or Anna Nicole Smith. UPDATE: The cause of the failed drug test was prescription drugs. A Britney source told TMZ, "The only thing that comes on the results are the prescriptions, that the court doctor prescribed. There has been no illegal drugs or even alcohol in any of the test results."

- Britney's new album "Blackout" is losing the top spot on the charts mighty fast.

- Elisabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to a baby boy this weekend, whose name she will reveal today when she calls into "The View". UPDATE: Elisabeth announced she and husband Tim Hasselbeck named their son Taylor Thomas Hasselbeck.

- Christina Aguilera had a blue-themed baby shower this weekend. And what would any baby shower be without a perfomance by a few drag queens?


- Angelina Jolie's leather pants began to split this weekend at the London premiere of Beowulf. But not to worry, Brad Pitt shielded the split by putting his hand on her ass.

- Does pregnancy cause your hair to thin out? Nicolette Sheridan reportedly asked her costars this question, prompting rumors that she might be preggers.

- News of the World is reporting that Chelsy Davy has dumped Prince Harry.

- Kate Hudson might be dating Heath Ledger these days. I can't keep up with her love life.

- Alicia Keys is glad she listened to her mama. She first chose her stage name to be Alicia Wild, which her mother told her made her sound like a stripper. Well, anything is better than her real name... Alicia Augello-Cook.

- A woman got so excited upon seeing Jessica Simpson at NYC's Waverly Inn restaurant last week that she "gets up and runs through the crowd to get a peek." But instead of catching up to Simpson, the woman fell over onto a table knocking it over, sending plates and glasses flying, and then she finally landed near the fireplace. I know what you are thinking... No, it wasn't me. I swear!

Photos: WireImage

This bitch is back!

What up, people?!?! After a couple weeks of luxurious vacay and some adjusting back to the real world, I'm finally getting around to posting after much harassment. So sorry!! I bet you didn't even know that Paris is out of jail without me around. Well, she is. And she's still full of shit.


- Paris Hilton has promised to devote her life to charity work now that she is out of jail. She is dressing more conservatively and vows to stop speaking so high (which happens when she is feeling nervous or shy, or whenever she feels like hiding her real man voice). But all these things can wait while she spends some time in the hotel pool in Hawaii. Wow... What growth.

- Oh, and one more thing... Did you believe Paris when she told Larry King she had never done drugs of any kind? Ha! Me neither!! Who did? But the celebutante must have forgotten about some home videos and pictures of her drug use. That lying beyotch!! Please to enjoy...


- I know this is the pot calling the kettle black (in a non-racist way), but damn, Oprah... Could you be anymore self-absorbed? Oprah is opening a store devoted to herself in Chicago where you can buy Oprah magazines, Oprah tote bags, Oprah DVDs, and anything else you might need to fill your Oprah void.

- iPhone was finally released on Friday. People began to line up last Monday to be first to purchase the $600 phone/iPod/web browser/camera. Apparently these people are rich and jobless because they had a free week to stand in front of the Apple store. Must be nice.

- Kevin Federline is refusing to sign divorce papers because of "concern over Britney Spears's recent behavior". When asked to elaborate, K-Fed said he is concerned Britney is spending far too little money and he is willing to be her shoulder to buy, uh cry, on.

- Jessica Simpson's new movie Blonde Ambition has been pushed back to a late August release date, supposedly because the movie is so horrible.

- Ryan Gosling has won a part in Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lovely Bones. The book was pretty good and anything with Ryan is something worth seeing, so this might turn out to be a really good flick.

- Penelope Cruz pitched a fit when her plane was delayed and demanded she and her luggage be allowed to deplane. Really? This is possible? That would have been helpful to know last time I had to sit on the smallest plane ever for three extra hours because we were 70th to take off. I would have been arrested for a stunt like this, but Penelope gets away with it. I didn't like her much before, but now she has really taken the top spot on my shit list. Well, La Lohan is still #1, but Penelope is a close #2.

- In other celebrity bitchfit news, Jessica Alba had a women's bathroom closed off for ten minutes so she could relieve herself in private. I hear someone wet her pants while waiting in the very long line Alba created.

- The Spice Girls are reuniting for an eleven show tour at the end of this year. That news makes me really, really, really wanna zigazig ahhhh!! Sorry, that was weak, but I had to do it. Maybe this means a sequel to Spice World?! I sure as hell hope so.

- "The Two Coreys", a reality show featuring Corey Haim and Corey Feldman of '80s fame, will start July 29 on A&E. And I'll be there for every minute of it.

- The Live Earth concert takes place all day this Saturday, 7.7.07, and will air on Bravo.

- This week's "Rescue Me" ended with a bang... And one person isn't so happy about it. Click here to read about it, but only read this if you have seen this week's episode all ready.

- Cameron Diaz's most recent flame, magician Criss Angel aka Mindfreak, has been sued for divorce by a secret wife. Angel has been married to Joanne Sarantakos, but he kept the marriage a secret to vamp up his image with the ladies. Not even a magic trick could make me be attracted to this...



I am pretty busy these days, but I promise to make more of an effort to update the blog and keep you informed of what is going on in the celebrity world. Harassment welcome! Hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!! Happy July 4th!!

Photos: Finalpixx/perezhilton.com, The Smoking Gun, Diane Bondareff / AP file

Peppers Baby, Natalie Portman, and more "View" news

Devastating news. It's going to be a loooong time before Anthony Kiedis and I get together, as it is meant to be. I found out yesterday that the 44 year old lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and his 20 year old model girlfriend, Heather Christie, are expecting a baby. I guess we can just be friends, Anthony.



- Oh, diss! Leonardo Dicaprio snubbed Jessica Simpson at the Vanity Fair party Saturday night. Jessica didn't fit in with the crowd and she "spent the whole night following Leonardo DiCaprio around like a lost puppy... He just seemed freaked out and kind of ignored her." He was probably pissed because all of her fake hair was depleting the Ozone.

- Us Weekly is reporting that Natalie Portman might be dating Andy Samberg of "Saturday Night Live". Uhhh... I thought I heard this like a year ago.

- DVR users are upset that the ending of "American Idol" was cut off by the recording devices because it ran longer than scheduled and Jordin Sparks wasn't even crowned the newest "Idol" until 10:03pm. DVR cut off at 10pm. I'm sorry, but why are you upset about this? You should be thanking DVR from saving you from the horror that is Ryan Seacrest.

- Tori Spelling caused a small amount of controversy when she and her husband, Dean McDermott, first got together because they were both still married and he had a newly adopted daughter. Now his ex, Mary Jo Eustace, is talking to People about how he left her. Dean said, "I'm not leaving the kids ... I'm leaving you." Ouch.

- There may be a reunion of "The State" in our futures!! Nothing is confirmed as of yet.

- The war between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck is getting ugly! Now Rosie won't be back on "The View" until Tuesday. Rosie posted some weird ass video on her blog today that shows pictures of Elisabeth and Barbara Walters while playing Cyndi Lauper's "Sisters of Avalon" in the background. Go here to watch it. Even Rosie's friends are getting in on the action. Janette Barber, Ro's chief writer, was supposedly escorted from ABC for drawing moustaches on posters of Elisabeth Hasselbeck. How juvenile can you be? Though, is it bad that I think that is hysterical?



Pictures from Celebrity Baby Blog and Perezhilton.com.

2007 Cannes Film Festival

Thought you all might be interested in seeing some of the pictures from the Cannes Film Festival. There are lots, lots more, but these are the ones I thought you might like to see. All photos courtesy of Wireimage.com, unless otherwise noted. Sorry about the watermarks on the pics. Send me money to join if you'd like your pics without them!


This is the first time in like four years that Angelina Jolie has worn a color other than black. It is an extremely nice change of pace and I hope she keeps it up!


Closeup of Brangelina


The supposed sex partners during filming of Ocean's Thirteen, Ellen Barkin and George Clooney


George again


Quentin Tarantino and the scariest man in Hollywood, Harvey Weinstein


Jude Law at the premiere of My Blueberry Nights


Jude and Norah Jones, who has her first acting gig in My Blueberry Nights


Kerry Washington


Holy crap! Look how short this guy is! That is Brett Ratner with Kimora Lee Simmons (or maybe just Kimora Lee now that she and Russell Simmons are separated). I'll admit I just put this up so you could see how short he is. From the way he gets girls to obsess about him (Lindsay Lohan), I just pictured him to be this huge dude. I have been proven wrong on that assumption.


The always lovely Eva Mendes


Julianne Moore


I put this one up for the Adrian Grenier obsessors


I have no idea why Jessica Simpson is at Cannes. She has as much right to be there as I do.


Jerry Seinfeld dressed as a bee to promote his new Bee Movie


Jake Gyllenhaal and Chloe Sevigny at the premiere of Zodiac


When the hell did Tilda Swinton turn into Miranda from "Sex and the City"?


I couldn't resist. The last film Anna Nicole Smith ever made debuted at Cannes this year. Looks like a winner!

And the best one of all...



Mischa Barton smoking her "hand-rolled cigarettes" on a yacht during the festivities

"American Idol" winner, dating news, and Tyra Banks

Hello again! Sorry it has been so long without a new post. I know all of you have just been dying to hear from me! Here's what I have cared about (or not cared about) in the last week or so:


- Jordin Sparks won "American Idol" last night. I know that is a girl, but that's about it. Some tool with frosted tips lost.

- A battle began on "The View" yesterday between... You guessed it! Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Something about troops being terrorists or some nonsense.

The fight went something like this:

Rosie - "I'm a liberal!"
Elisabeth - "I'm a conservative!"
Rosie - "Donald Trump is to blame for all the wars in the world!"
Elisabeth - "You're being glib! How annoying can I possibly be?!"

I may be taking some liberties there, but I'm pretty sure that was the basic plot of the argument. Go here to watch the video and see what really happened. Now Rosie may be leaving the show early. She is set to leave in three weeks. Rosie wasn't on "The View" today, but she's just gone for her partner Kelli's birthday.

- I regret to inform you that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of "The Hills" are engaged. She's 20, by the way. Congratulations. I'll let you know when they file for divorce.

- Ohhhh... Dina Lohan just got BUSTED! She told Us, "I've read all these things, like I said I'm the White Oprah ... I've never said that in my entire life! It's completely ridiculous." Is it? IS IT? Because she told Star Magazine last year, "I love to talk. Lindsay's friends call me 'The White Oprah' because they all come to me with their problems." You liar!

- "KISS MY FAT ASS!" These were the words we heard Tyra Banks scream as she slapped her own ass on her talk show a few months ago. After months of talking about how much she doesn't care that she's fat and how she worked so hard all those years as a model that they are willing to retouch her now, Tyra is eating her words. Well, I guess actually "lean turkey sandwiches and loads of fresh-cut veggies and fruit." Ty-ty has gone on a diet and has lost thirty pounds recently, despite being oh-so comfortable with her weight. Girl couldn't even last five months with what some of us have lasted twenty years. Weak!

- I found this article on MSN today. MSN proposes to VH1 which celebrities they want for "Celebreality" shows. My suggestion for a VH1 reality show: I hate to admit this, but Tyra Banks. I would watch it. Every day probably. I just want a camera to follow her around all day so I can make fun of everything she does. She's like my heroin (not heroine, as in hero... I mean the drug). I resist the urge to partake in any of Tyra's television shows daily. But sure enough, Wednesday at 8pm rolls around and I'm right in front of the TV anxious to see what idiotic stuff Tyra will do on "America's Next Top Model". Then I get in my bed to go to sleep and get sucked in to reruns of "The Tyra Banks Show" on Oxygen. I mean really, how am I supposed to sleep when Tyra has an "America's Next Top Drag Queen" contest going on? She is to blame for my insomnia. There's just so much joy every time I see that pained look in her eye when she introduces a new segment on her talk show, like "I'm so embarrassed to be saying this but... Please welcome Stacia, who is a two foot tall stripper." So VH1, the crack-addicted side of my personality begs of you to start a reality show with Tyra Banks as the star. But the side of me that wants to have a life begs of you never to give her more air time...EVER!

- Nicole Richie claims she is not in rehab though The National Enquirer and Star are reporting that Nicole has been in rehab for a pain-killer addiction and anorexia and that she weighs 83 pounds.

- Brittany Murphy might have married Simon Monjack to keep him from getting deported.

- Oprah's dad is writing a book about her and she is pissed.

- Amy Winehouse married Blake Fielder-Civil last weekend.

- Donna Lynn Hogan wants to be just like sissy Anna Nicole Smith. She is giving herself a birthday present of new boobs and dying her hair bleach blonde. This is all in attempt to make it in Playboy. This from the woman who wrote Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith.

- Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder and his wife, Kirsten, had a girl named Evan Jane Heder this week.

- Cameron Diaz might be dating "Mindfreak" Criss Angel. Most of you know my theory about couples looking alike, and I can see a resemblance here. If you can get past all the eyeliner and hair...on him.

- Jessica Simpson and John Mayer broke up. Or they didn't. I don't know! I'm so confused!

- "Weeds" is coming back August 13. Guess who is stopping by Agrestic? Mary-Kate Olsen... What the hell?

- "Big Love" starts it's second season with a move to Monday nights on June 11.

Wow! That was a lot of stuff I neglected to report on! I'm sure there's a lot I missed, so there may be a few updates in your near future!

Photo by: Frank Micelotta / Getty

Babwa says, "Peace out, Rosie!"

TMZ has confirmed that Rosie O'Donnell will be announcing today on "The View" that she is leaving the show. I don't know whether to sing "Glory, Glory, Hallejuah" or break down into tears. Will there be no more controversy? Will I never again see Rosie hanging upside down on a swing in rather unflattering spandex pants? Who will replace her? Will Rosie finally beat the tar out of Elisabeth Hasselbeck? Oh, please let that be her going away present!!!

- Happy Birthday to Al Pacino, who turns 66 today!

- The fictional band Spinal Tap from the Christopher Guest crew will perform at Live Aid this summer in London. In other news, I'm thinking of moving to the other side of the pond. They have so many awesome things go on over there. America sucks. All we have is Britney Spears showing her "lady parts" every five minutes.

- Speaking of Brit, Jessica Simpson is trying to pawn off her manager pa, Joe Simpson. Since Britney's career has taken a tumble, Jess seems to think dad Joe can help her out. So this means he will now be going on every show available to talk about how big Britney's boobs are. Only this time it won't be quite as weird because he won't be talking about his daughter.

- Heather Mills can't shake a leg with the best of them. She was sent home last night on "Dancing with the Stars".

- A fire broke out on the set of The Dark Night, the next in the Batman franchise.

- Melanie Brown, aka "Scary Spice", has named her daughter Angel Iris Murphy Brown. She said, "Angel, as she was my little angel through my pregnancy. Iris, as it's my grandma's name, Murphy because he's the dad, and Brown, because I'm the Mum!" Murphy has still not owned up to his paternity.

- Angelina Jolie is trying to change the name of her new child to Pax Thien Jolie-Pitt. I guess those rumors about the Pitts splitting aren't true.

Picture Source

Happy Birthday, Suri!

Photo: Vanity Fair

It has been one year since the birth of Suri Cruise (or if you believe the rumors, almost two years). No birthday party plans have been revealed yet. The world's youngest celebutante is sure to have a fabulous affair, most likely in Shreveport, LA, where mother Katie Holmes is currently filming her first movie since she signed her life away/met Tom Cruise. It is called Mad Money and costars Diane Keaton and Queen Latifah. Well, Happy Birthday, Suri! Don't choke on your silver spoon.

- Why even get out of bed in the morning? Without Lindsay Lohan by your side, that is. The egomaniac tells Allure, "When my friends and family are around me I feel like they're safe . . . When my friends have left me - I've just seen everything collapse. They're not safe without me." If you are such a great protector, then what does everyone do while you party all night, go to rehab, and basically only focus on one thing... Lindsay. Newsflash... The world doesn't revolve around you.

- Richard Gere is on fire in India. The people of India are outraged after he dipped Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty and kissed her on the hand and cheek. Public displays of affection are not welcomed in India and his actions have been considered extremely offensive. People have been burning photos of Gere in protest.

- Paris Hilton goes to court on May 4 for her driving violations.

- Isaiah Washington, aka Dr. Burke on "Grey's Anatomy", will play a sexually abused Catholic priest in an upcoming movie, The Least of These.

- Adam McKay, father of nasty landlord Pearl, had an interview with People regarding the hilarious video that has been all over the place recently.

- Kristin Cavallari is selling herself for cash. The reality star has been pushing herself on clubs in LA. They pay her for appearances, hoping to bring in more customers. Now she is peddling her 21st birthday party. I guess you have to make the rent somehow.

- Don't ever wear this again...



Photo: NEILL J. SCHUTZER/ Ramey

AHHH!!

Photo: WireImage
- Now there's an image I thought I would never see! Liberal basher Ann Coulter and "Good Times" star Jimmie "JJ" Walker showed up together to the TV Land Awards this weekend. Thankfully, the two are not dating.

- Larry Birkhead was seen partying "in between court sessions" and he was "having the time of his life". Hmmmm... If I had just fought an extremely public battle to win custody of my daughter, I think I might be spending time with my child after my victory. But that's just me.

- Apparently the Hogans might be breaking up?? I think he might be mad since she put a red sock in with all of his yellow leotards.

- It has been reported that Vanessa Minnillo is having a bad hair day and wants to hire Jessica Simpson's stylist/best friend/mannequin, Ken Paves. I don't buy this and neither should you.

- Rachel Weisz has dropped out of The Mummy 3 due to scheduling conflicts. I know this movie will probably make a lot of money, but she just gained so much more respect from me.

- Anna Nicole Smith's diaries failed to sell at an auction this weekend. Shocker.