This bitch is back!

What up, people?!?! After a couple weeks of luxurious vacay and some adjusting back to the real world, I'm finally getting around to posting after much harassment. So sorry!! I bet you didn't even know that Paris is out of jail without me around. Well, she is. And she's still full of shit.


- Paris Hilton has promised to devote her life to charity work now that she is out of jail. She is dressing more conservatively and vows to stop speaking so high (which happens when she is feeling nervous or shy, or whenever she feels like hiding her real man voice). But all these things can wait while she spends some time in the hotel pool in Hawaii. Wow... What growth.

- Oh, and one more thing... Did you believe Paris when she told Larry King she had never done drugs of any kind? Ha! Me neither!! Who did? But the celebutante must have forgotten about some home videos and pictures of her drug use. That lying beyotch!! Please to enjoy...


- I know this is the pot calling the kettle black (in a non-racist way), but damn, Oprah... Could you be anymore self-absorbed? Oprah is opening a store devoted to herself in Chicago where you can buy Oprah magazines, Oprah tote bags, Oprah DVDs, and anything else you might need to fill your Oprah void.

- iPhone was finally released on Friday. People began to line up last Monday to be first to purchase the $600 phone/iPod/web browser/camera. Apparently these people are rich and jobless because they had a free week to stand in front of the Apple store. Must be nice.

- Kevin Federline is refusing to sign divorce papers because of "concern over Britney Spears's recent behavior". When asked to elaborate, K-Fed said he is concerned Britney is spending far too little money and he is willing to be her shoulder to buy, uh cry, on.

- Jessica Simpson's new movie Blonde Ambition has been pushed back to a late August release date, supposedly because the movie is so horrible.

- Ryan Gosling has won a part in Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lovely Bones. The book was pretty good and anything with Ryan is something worth seeing, so this might turn out to be a really good flick.

- Penelope Cruz pitched a fit when her plane was delayed and demanded she and her luggage be allowed to deplane. Really? This is possible? That would have been helpful to know last time I had to sit on the smallest plane ever for three extra hours because we were 70th to take off. I would have been arrested for a stunt like this, but Penelope gets away with it. I didn't like her much before, but now she has really taken the top spot on my shit list. Well, La Lohan is still #1, but Penelope is a close #2.

- In other celebrity bitchfit news, Jessica Alba had a women's bathroom closed off for ten minutes so she could relieve herself in private. I hear someone wet her pants while waiting in the very long line Alba created.

- The Spice Girls are reuniting for an eleven show tour at the end of this year. That news makes me really, really, really wanna zigazig ahhhh!! Sorry, that was weak, but I had to do it. Maybe this means a sequel to Spice World?! I sure as hell hope so.

- "The Two Coreys", a reality show featuring Corey Haim and Corey Feldman of '80s fame, will start July 29 on A&E. And I'll be there for every minute of it.

- The Live Earth concert takes place all day this Saturday, 7.7.07, and will air on Bravo.

- This week's "Rescue Me" ended with a bang... And one person isn't so happy about it. Click here to read about it, but only read this if you have seen this week's episode all ready.

- Cameron Diaz's most recent flame, magician Criss Angel aka Mindfreak, has been sued for divorce by a secret wife. Angel has been married to Joanne Sarantakos, but he kept the marriage a secret to vamp up his image with the ladies. Not even a magic trick could make me be attracted to this...



I am pretty busy these days, but I promise to make more of an effort to update the blog and keep you informed of what is going on in the celebrity world. Harassment welcome! Hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!! Happy July 4th!!

Photos: Finalpixx/perezhilton.com, The Smoking Gun, Diane Bondareff / AP file