This Just In...

Rosie O'Donnell will not be returning to "The View". She was supposed to fulfill her contract until June 20, but she decided to peace out early.

Here's what everybody had to say for themselves:

Rosie: "I'm extremely grateful. It's been an amazing year and I love all three women."
Translation: I hate you bitches. This year has been the worst year of my life. Even worse than the year my Broadway play Taboo with Boy George bombed! I hate Donald Trump and all of you. I don't know how you did it, Hasselbeck, but somehow you roped the network into siding with you over me. Damn you, Hasselbeck! Damn you!!

Barbara Walters: "I brought Rosie to the show. Rosie contributed to one of our most exciting and successful years at 'The View'. I am most appreciative. Our close and affectionate relationship will not change."
Translation: What the hell was I thinking to bring Rosie on the show? I must have been on crack or something. If it weren't for the enormous ratings boost because of all the controversy, I would have fired her ass a long time ago. I will never speak to Rosie O'Donnell again.

ABC: "We had hoped that Rosie would be with us until the end of her contract three weeks from now, but Rosie has informed us that she would like an early leave. Therefore, we part ways, thank her for her tremendous contribution to 'The View' and wish her well."
Translation: We are so excited to wash our hands of constantly having to release statements in support of such a monster. Good riddance, Rosie. Don't let the camera hit you in the face on the way out!

Maybe I should try to get Rosie's empty chair at "The View" table!

Picture: MSNBC Media

On TV Tonight

Since some of you have lives, this information may not pertain to you. But for those of you who don't, here's what's on TV tonight:

8pm - "America's Next Top Model", CW: The models go to Australia this week and I can't wait to see them interview local townsfolk. I get a little too much joy out of making fun of Tyra. "Kiss my fat ass!" Girl, you don't know what fat is.

8:30pm - "Notes from the Underbelly", ABC: I expected this to be terrible, but it's not so bad. As long as they refrain from mentioning any more "lady parts", I think I can stomach it.

9pm - "American Idol", FOX: This 9pm time slot used to be filled with an hour of Sawyer and Kate frollicking on "Lost". Now it is dominated by Ryan Seacrest and his army of idiots. It is safe to say I will spend this hour on Facebook.

10pm - "Lost", ABC: I knew all along Juliet was working for The Others. I don't trust that shady lady. A new Internet theory is that she is pregnant and is doing what Ben wants to get off the island. Tonight is about Charlie though, so I'm not sure how much we will find out.

Here's what I won't be watching: "American Idol" (obviously), "Jericho", "Thank God You're Here", "Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll", and any episodes of the "Law & Order" franchise

"Six Degrees" of Smith Jerrod

Yesterday I decided to watch a new episode of ABC's "Six Degrees". I only watched like two episodes of the show before it went on hiatus because I thought it was really sucky, to put it mildly. But boredom set in yesterday and our DVR is still recording it, so I gave it another shot.

I don't get this show. I mean I get that these people continue to have random connections in New York City, but this just isn't realistic. I have yet to form a relationship with the cop that I met on the subway that's stalking me. Anywho, I was extremely confused by one issue on this show. Smith Jerrod from "Sex and the City", aka Jason Lewis, is doing it with Bridget Monyahan on "Six Degrees" on Friday nights. Yet, on Sundays, I can catch him doing it with one of the brothers on ABC's "Brothers & Sisters", the other show I think is sucky but keep watching each week waiting to be wowed because all of my female friends think it is fantastic (I can't decide if I don't like the show because of its content or because I despise Calista Flockhart). I can't keep up. Is Jason Lewis gay or straight? Is he dating Bridget or Samantha? Is ABC that starved for actors that they recycle them in all of their new shows? What is this - The WB?

I will not be watching "Six Degrees" again. It doesn't really have a chance anyway seeing as ABC brought it back after a very long hiatus and put it on the Friday night lineup. Also on this episode, Probie from "Rescue Me" made an appearance. If this means he won't be returning to the firehouse in June, I will be irate! Anyway, just thought I would share my thoughts on the subject. Have a good day!