Stalkarazzi

I walked out of my apartment last night to see the usual crowd of people waiting to eat at Da Silvano, the restaurant below our apartment. I saw a skinny blondish girl sitting on the bench, smoking, texting on her BlackBerry, wearing tightass black jeans, a white jacket, and one of those terrible white fedora hats that girls continue to insist upon wearing. Britney and K-Fed couldn't pull it off and neither can anyone else.

As the girl looked up to exhale, I realized it was Lindsay Lohan. She saw me looking and smirking to myself. This only fed her already giant ego. Since I have nothing better to do with my time and drop everything when I see celebs, I stood around outside chatting on my cell phone aka watching Lindsay slyly (or so I thought). Soon after this, her latest manskank, Calum Best, the British equivalent of Carson Daly, showed up and they were whisked into the restaurant and seated at a very nice table. Which I could still see.

Seconds later, Lindsay reaches over and shoves her tongue down Calum's throat. I am greatly offended by DDA (Disgusting Displays of Affection), so I decided it was time to go back inside. I thought you people might enjoy the details of my encounter. Or as someone else appropriately called me, stalkarazzi.

Photo: Splash News Online