Who would have thought money (or a fake illness) could get you out of trouble?

During the time I've been slacking off, Paris Hilton has gone to jail, faked an illness to get out of jail, and is now going back to court to possibly return to jail. And I thought I had a busy week! Paris turned herself in on Sunday evening in a way only Paris could...going to jail straight from the MTV Movie Awards. But she didn't forget her swag bags!!

TMZ reported, "Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We're told after Sophy's visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton's mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head." I wish I could get out of things just by telling people the weird issues I have in my head. I'd claim mental instability any day to get out of manual labor. Paris, always the lady, politely thanked "the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes." So...Paris was put on house arrest and sent on her merry way. I just hope she got a driver this time.

Buuuttt... Now Paris might be headed back to the slammer. This is like a trial gone awry on "Days of Our Lives". The judge that sentenced Paris to the clink the first go-round is ordering her back to a LA courtroom tomorrow to determine how she should serve the rest of her sentence. Because it was the Sheriff that let her off the hook, the judge and the district attorney are pissed that they were not consulted on the issue. Thus, the reason for the hearing tomorrow. Poor Paris. This morning she thought she would be spending the remaining 40 days of her sentence watching reruns of "The Simple Life" on E! Now Paris might be spending that time back in the slammer... I don't know which is worse.

Here is some other really important stuff that has been going on recently:

- Isaiah Washington, aka Dr. Burke, has officially been fired from "Grey's Anatomy". Who will Yang sleep with to get to the top now? Isaiah got the call today that he will not be returning to Seattle Grace. He was fired "due only in part to [his] onset troubles and was a result of a 'pattern of problematic behavior'." Washington had this to say: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." Hmm... Is referencing the movie Network supposed to mean something?

- Jennifer Aniston's mystery man was revealed as 36-year-old British model Paul Sculfor. The two dined and held hands during Memorial Day weekend.

- Dina Lohan is finally visiting Lindsay in rehab. It only took ten days.

- Speaking of La Lohan, some strange pictures of Linz and Vanessa Minnillo surfaced on the Internet the other day of the two holding a knife and fake stabbing each other in a slutty, S&M way. Sources are saying it could hurt Vanessa's career. Lindsay's already done enough damage to sink her career, so there's no worries there.

- You know how women breastfeed in public and other women say things like, "How beautiful!" or "Look at that cute little baby!" In case you haven't figured this out yet, I'm not one of those women. I encountered an issue at one of my jobs that my bathroom schedule happened to coincide with one woman's breastfeeding schedule. Now, the whirring sound of a breast pump is enough to send me screaming down the hallway whilst pulling my hair out in horror. Well, Maggie Gyllenhaal was spotted breastfeeding in NYC the other day. Thank goodness I was nowhere around. I warn you: view this link with caution.

- Speaking of babies, Baby Borat is on the way. Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are pregnant with their first child.

- Sarah Jessica Parker's new cost-conscious fashion line "Bitten" debuted today at Steve & Barry's stores across America. If you've actually ever seen a Steve & Barry's, then check it out!

- Larry and Laurie David have split after fourteen years of cynicism and environmental awareness.

- Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi went to rehab today.

- DVDs out this week: "Rescue Me: Season Three", "Seinfeld: Season Eight", "The Cosby Show: Seasons Three and Four". Load up on TV DVDs for lazy summer days.

Now I'm exhausted from the celebrity overload so I'm hitting the hay. Peace.