Lindsay Lohan Arrested (Denial, Denalis, and Bad Parenting)

Lindsay Lohan was arrested this morning for two misdemeanor charges of suspicion of driving under the influence and driving on a suspended license, and two felony charges of possession of cocaine. One of LiLo's two assistants quit (because who can put up with all that?) and called her mother to come pick her up from Lindsay's residence. Around 1:30am, the assistant's mother picked her up and then was pursued by an enraged Lindsay in her white Denali!

When police finally stopped the crazy redhead (excuse me... blonde), LaLo failed a field sobriety test and had a stash of cocaine in her pocket. Her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13 percent. So much for that ankle bracelet! Lindsay was arrested and taken to the clink (which they were only a block away from at the time), but she was released a little while later on $25,000 bail. Her arraignment is scheduled for August 24, the same date that was originally set for her Memorial Day DUI. There doesn't seem to be a way for her to get out of serving serious time (about as serious as Paris Hilton's stay was). Maybe she and Nicole Richie could share a cell? They could film it and call it "The Simple Life: Jailbirds".


Lindsay was booked last week for her May 26 DUI last week and has been in rehab twice since January. She had been wearing a SCRAM ankle bracelet since her most recent release from rehab to monitor her alcohol intake. I guess those things aren't sophisticated enough to sniff out cocaine. Lindsay's rep said, "Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late [Monday] I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

Is it terrible that all I can think of at a time like this is how desperately I want her bag?

There have been a lot of contradicting reports, however. While TMZ reported that Lindsay entered an undisclosed rehab center today, Perez Hilton says she is NOT in rehab. TMZ is also reporting now that Lindsay wasn't chasing her assistant, but that she was being chased while following her assistant. Mmmhmm... And OJ was just going to visit relatives across the border.

Dina Lohan spoke out to "The Insider" saying "I am sick over this. My children, my family -- we are like prisoners in our own home because paparazzi is staked outside. Lindsay is in a safe place [the Chateau Marmont] and we are trying to strategically work out our next step. We are doing everything in our power in support of Lindsay. And I won't give up. This is my daughter and we love her. We are waiting for the press frenzy to die down and leave her alone. Please respect our privacy." Where's all your "White Oprah" inspiration for your daughter, Dina?

Apparently when your child gets arrested, your supposed to make statements to the press. Michael Lohan has been all over the place today. He spoke to Perez Hilton for twelve minutes, appeared on "Larry King Live", and spoke to "The Insider". He really seems distressed by all of this. He told PEOPLE magazine, "I'm devastated by this. It's killing me, it's ripping me apart." Really? Is it? So much that you are crying in the fetal position clutching your phone, just barely summoning the strength to dial up CNN? Somebody get this man some Kleenex! Michael has been asked to stay away from Lindsay and her lawyer, Blair Berk, so I guess he will have to do all this caring elsewhere.

Lindsay's paternal grandmother, Marilyn Lohan, even released a statement: “I’m just very upset about the whole thing. She’s such a beautiful girl. We love her and we’re here for her. She can turn it around. With the right guidance and people, she can turn it around.” Tomorrow, expect statements from lil' sis Ali, lil' bro Dakota, her dealer, and Naomi Campbell, who taught her just how to treat her assistants.

Before this DUI and cocaine bust, Lohan was originally scheduled to appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno"... To repair her image. But that was scrapped and Rob Schneider took her place and came dressed as the celebutante! Her movie career is in tact as the producers of her flick Dare to Love Me are doing just that by standing by her and not firing her... For now.

News, both true and false, is constantly developing. I'll try to compile the best of all the information and update when I can. Have a happy hump day!

Photos: Santa Monica Police Department, Simon Ferreira/startraks, VIPIX/Ramey, AP/Dick Yarwood, 2005.

Bret and Jemaine, Stephanie Tanner, Farewell to Tammy Faye

My newest obsession? HBO's "Flight of the Conchords", a half-hour show that follows New Zealanders Bret and Jemaine trying to break into the music scene in NYC. "New Zealand's fourth most popular folk parody duo" spend their time finding love, meeting with their band manager Murray, and avoiding their "fan base", a woman named Mel. They spontaneously burst into song, making random observations about the world. In the first episode, Jemaine tells a girl, "You're so beautiful, you could be a part-time model... But you'd probably have to keep your regular job." It's random, it's funny, and it airs Sunday nights at 10:30pm on HBO. Check out one of my favorite clips.



Other stuff...

- Britney Spears is going to give OK! magazine all the juicy details about her bald head, rehab, FedEx, and various other things in this week's issue. Mags are going to fly off the shelves and OK! might finally get a little respect in America. Wonder how much they had to pay for that interview?

- What's a blog post without a mention of La Lohan? Sigh. I can't seem to stop talking about her. Lindsay was set to start filming the movie Poor Things when she smashed into a curb and had to go to rehab. The film, costarring Shirley MacLaine, was postponed until Linz made it out of celebrity summer camp. But now the movie has totally sunk and isn't going to be made at all. This was instantly blamed on Lohan's partying ways, but this is not true. Turns out the producers have gone crazy and spent way too much money, bankrupting the movie. Now LaLo is going to dance in a movie called Dare to Love Me. She'll have to learn to tango. We should get some good laughs out of this!

- Jodie Sweetin, best known for playing Stephanie on "Full House", got married last Saturday to a man named Cody Herpin. She didn't invite any of her "Full House" costars to the wedding. How rude. This is Jodie's second marriage. She has admitted to a past daily methamphetamine habit.

- Wow! I almost forgot about Benicio Del Toro. Last time I heard anything about him he was getting nasty with Scarlett Johansson in an elevator. But he's back and he's going to be playing Che Guevara in a new Steven Sodebergh film. Welcome back!

- The reunion of The Fugees is "dead", apparently because Lauryn Hill is too full of herself. Sad. I bet that would have been an awesome album.

- I know none of you care about this, but I'm ecstatic that "The State" is finally coming to DVD! David Wain says it's official that we'll finally get the gang on DVD, but there's no specific release date yet.

- Sad news. Tammy Faye Bakker Messner has passed away after a long battle with cancer. She made a final TV appearance on "Larry King Live" Thursday night and passed away the following day. When Larry King asked Tammy Faye what her fans would remember her for, she jokingly said, "Well, my eyelashes."

I'm sure you all spent your weekend reading the new Harry Potter book. Dorks. Peace out!

2007 Emmy Nominations Announced Today

Let's play "What Does Pop Guru Think!" Once again, nominations have been announced - meaning I've been giddy with excitement all day because I get to inflict my opinions upon you! For those of you who get all the awards confused, the Emmys are strictly for television. You won't see any film nominees here. So here's how it will go... I'll tell you who has been nominated, then I'll delight you with who I think will win and who I want to win (which is the most important part of this whole process). Main categories only, though. If you want to see who got nominated for Outstanding Hairstyling For A Miniseries, Movie Or A Special, then go here.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:

Ricky Gervais as Andy Millman, "Extras" - HBO
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk, "Monk" - USA
Steve Carell as Michael Scott, "The Office" - NBC
Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, "30 Rock" - NBC
Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS

Who I think will win: Tony Shalhoub. Doesn't this guy win every year? If not him, Alec.

Who I want to win: Shit. This is tough. Do I have to decide?? I just recently discovered "Extras" and absolutely LOVE it! Ricky Gervais is hysterical as the bumbling "Background Artist" and somehow Gervais has the power to make celebrities kiss his feet (even Madonna!). Alec Baldwin may be an ass in real life, but he is magic on the screen, my friends. And I'll always have a soft spot for Michael Scott in my heart. If someone pointed a gun at my head and forced me to choose, I'd have to go with Alec.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series:

James Spader as Alan Shore, "Boston Legal" - ABC
Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House, "House" - FOX
Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin, "Rescue Me" - F/X
James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano, "The Sopranos" - HBO
Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, "24" - FOX

Who I think will win: Hugh Laurie because (as I said before) who can resist a bumbling Brit? But it was the last year for "The Sopranos" and despite an ending most viewers hated, James could easily take home the gold.

Who I want to win: Seeing as I screamed with glee when I heard his name announced this morning (seriously - and this was before coffee), I'd have to give the Emmy to my dear friend and beloved asshole, Denis Leary.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:

Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo, "Desperate Housewives" - ABC
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Christine Campbell, "The New Adventures of Old Christine" - CBS
Tina Fey as Liz Lemon, "30 Rock" - NBC
America Ferrera as Betty Suarez, "Ugly Betty" - ABC
Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin, "Weeds" - Showtime

Who I think will win: America Ferrera. I just hope Maria Menounos is on the sidelines when she wins to crush her to the very core by asking America how she feels when people call her "thick".

Who I want to win: Well, considering I can't even look at Felicity Huffman without picturing her prosthetic member from Transamerica, definitely NOT her. And I absolutely despise Old Christine, New Christine, Ugly Christine, and any and all Christines involved with that show. Everybody knows I want my favorite pot dealing, coffee drinking Mom to take home that trophy... Mary-Louise! You know, I don't blame her for taking to the ganj. That's probably the only way I could be a mother.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series:

Sally Field as Nora Walker, "Brothers & Sisters" - ABC
Kyra Sedgwick as Dep. Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, "The Closer" - TNT
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" - NBC
Patricia Arquette as Allison Dubois, "Medium" - NBC
Minnie Driver as Dahlia Malloy, "The Riches" - F/X
Edie Falco as Carmela Soprano, "The Sopranos" - HBO

Who I think will win: Kyra Sedgwick. Her Southern accent is not quite right (none of my friends from Atlanta have Southern accents... Weird), but I've spent a lazy day (or two) watching marathons of this show and it is quite entertaining. And it's quite refreshing, as refreshing as crime shows can be when they are played on constant repeat on TV all day long. But the same goes for Edie as it did for James Gandolfini... Edie might take the award for the last season of "The Sopranos". I know, I know. It's all so political.

Who I want to win: Kyra, but if not her, Mariska. I like Mariska. I just wish she would stop cutting her hair to look like a detective. How Method of her. Minnie Driver's wretched Southern accent is what kept me from enjoying "The Riches", so not her. And Patricia Arquette... Uh, I didn't even know "Medium" was still on the air, so I just want to extend to her my congratulations for having like four viewers left.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series:

Kevin Dillon as Johnny Drama, "Entourage" - HBO
Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold, "Entourage" - HBO
Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother" - CBS
Rainn Wilson as Dwight K. Schrute, "The Office" - NBC
Jon Cryer as Alan Harper, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS

Who I think will win: Most likely, Jeremy Piven. I was bored to tears with the first few episodes of this season of "Entourage", so I have no idea what his acting ability has been like. I feel like he is a big contender, though.

Who I want to win: My first instinct is to shout, wait for it... "Barney! Barney! Barney!" But then I have pangs of guilt because I'm a devoted Dwight fan with a Dwight bobblehead on my bookshelf. I would be happy with either (but don't think they'll win - but I will psychotically jump up and down on my couch like Tom Cruise if either do).

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series:

William Shatner as Denny Crane, "Boston Legal" - ABC
T.R. Knight as George O'Malley, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC (By the way, apparently The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has never heard of IMDB as they listed T.R. Knight's character simply as George. He has a last name, people. Isaiah Washington would go postal on your ass if you forgot his character's last name.)
Masi Oka as Hiro Nakamura, "Heroes" - NBC
Michael Emerson as Ben Linus, "Lost" - ABC (Again, had to add the last name. Maybe The Academy should buy a TV. Or perhaps I should get a life. Either/or.)
Terry O'Quinn as John Locke, "Lost" - ABC
Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti, "The Sopranos" - HBO

Who I think will win: Wow! Big category. Six nominees instead of five. Michael Imperioli. People like him for some reason. I don't watch "The Sopranos", so I have no idea why. If not him, Masi Oka. People are obsessed with "Heroes" so I think he has a fighting chance. I'm waiting for the first season to come out on DVD so I can find out what the big deal is.

Who I want to win: Like there is even a moment of hesitation for me to say Michael Emerson. He is the creepiest MoFo on television as "Others" leader Ben Linus - so scary he sneaks into my dreams at night to haunt me. I'd be delighted for either him or Terry O'Quinn to win. I still think O'Quinn was robbed when he didn't win the Oscar for playing Kate's father in The Cutting Edge. The bastards! I would be so disappointed if the winner is...get ready to gasp, ladies and gays... T.R. Knight. Not only has "Grey's" lost its spark, but George's flame has dwindled, as well.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series:

Jaime Pressly as Joy Turner, "My Name is Earl" - NBC
Jenna Fischer as Pam Beesly, "The Office" - NBC
Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS
Conchata Ferrell as Berta, "Two and a Half Men" - CBS (According to IMDB, Berta has no last name. I guess that's what happens when you play the maid.)
Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater, "Ugly Betty" - ABC
Elizabeth Perkins as Celia Hodes, "Weeds" - Showtime

Who I think will win: I gotta go with Joy. "Earl" stands alone as a funny show but when I hear that raspy laugh, I can't help but double over and knee-slap simultaneously. Joy stands true to her name by bringing me happiness every Thursday night at 8/7 central. So help me if Vanessa Williams wins. Remember that hair at The Golden Globes? She should be committed after that shit.

Who I want to win: Obviously, Joy. Sorry, Pam. We've had some good laughs and I think you're great and all, but the awkward moments between you and Jim prove too much for me sometimes and I blush with embarrassment at horrid memories that arise. And I'd absolutely love for Elizabeth Perkins to win because she really has the funniest role on "Weeds"... But I just don't know if that's going to happen. For those of you wondering who the F Holland Taylor is, my generation will remember her as Dean McMann from "Saved by the Bell: The College Years". Cause I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow, TODAY! Today, today, today...

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series:

Rachel Griffiths as Sarah Whedon, "Brothers & Sisters" - ABC
Katherine Heigl as Dr. Isobel “Izzie” Stevens, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang, "Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
Aida Turturro as Janice Soprano, "The Sopranos" - HBO
Lorraine Bracco as Dr. Jennifer Melfi, "The Sopranos" - HBO

Who I think will win: Another six nominee category. I don't know, one of the "Grey's" bitches. Take your pick.

Who I want to win: Lorraine Bracco. Not because I know what her character is like, but because I like her in Goodfellas and I saw her in The Container Store once and she seemed like a cool bitch. I like Chandra Wilson all right, so I'm ok with her, too. I'm really sad Chloe Sevigny was not nominated for "Big Love" because she really is fantastic as Nicki, the shopaholic Polygamist.

And finally, the biggest awards of the night...

Outstanding Comedy Series:

"Entourage" - HBO
"The Office" - NBC
"30 Rock" - NBC
"Two and a Half Men" - CBS
"Ugly Betty" - ABC

Who I think will win: Hijo de puta! F-ing "Ugly Betty". Something about this show makes me want to run in horror and never look back. Ever.

Who I want to win: I mean, obviously "The Office". Those who have never worked in an office environment cannot appreciate the humor and politics of this show. I wish I could have inherited a large sum of money from a very distant great aunt and never have worked in an office either. But I have, so I laugh. "30 Rock" started out rocky, excuse the pun. But it has turned out to be a laugh-out-loud comedy and I would be happy for Tina Fey to take home this trophy, as well.

Outstanding Drama Series:

"Boston Legal" - ABC
"Grey's Anatomy" - ABC
"Heroes" - NBC
"House" - FOX
"The Sopranos" - HBO

Who I think will win: "Heroes" or "The Sopranos", but I can't judge those two.

Who I want to win: Can I say none of these? Where is "Lost"? "Rescue Me"? I guess "Heroes" because I have a slight inclination that I'm going to like it. Damn.

Whew! That just took me forever, so enjoy it. And I know it's going to come back and bite me on the ass when you people remind me of my wrong predictions when The Emmys air live on FOX September 16 at 8/7c. But I'm all excited about the Second Annual Pop Guru Emmy Fashion Awards I will be giving out after the event! Can't wait! Have a good weekend!

Weird Couples and Celebutante News

You just got PUNK'D! That's how I felt when I saw this picture of Kate Hudson and Dax Shepard. Apparently the two are dating. You all know Hudson from How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Shepard from Employee of the Month... No? Did you not see that masterpiece starring Jessica Simpson? Well, he was also on the first season of "Punk'd" and in a Nick Lachey music video. And Dax proves that chivalry is, in fact, not dead as he has removed his sweaty, nasty shirt for Kate to smother her face with. Ahhh... How romantic!

- Lindsay Lohan busted out of rehab last Friday and has made an important decision... Regarding her accessories. LaLo's rep said: "On her own, she has also made the decision in support of her sobriety to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet. In part she is wearing the bracelet so there are no questions about her sobriety if she chooses to go dancing or dining in a place where alcohol is served." And first stop out of rehab was, of course, going clubbing. But only "in part", as Linds was only partaking of water and energy drinks. (You can see the bracelet around her ankle in this picture.)

- And in other clubbing rehabilitated starlet news, Britney Spears will host the opening of LAX nightclub next month in Las Vegas.

- Winona Ryder is on the August cover of Vogue and for the first time, she's finally talking about her arrest for shoplifting back in December 2001. She's blaming her five finger discount on too many painkillers. Uh, I thought you were researching a role, Winona? I liked that excuse better.

- Brace yourselves... Paris Hilton is working on a new album. I can't wait!

- Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell were married this last Saturday at a BBQ-turned-surprise-wedding. Surprise - nobody cares.

- Some people do get second chances! NBC has hired ex-"Grey's Anatomy" actor Isaiah Washington for five episodes on their new show "Bionic Woman". There has been a lot of buzz around this show from Internet geeks, but this may ward off many gay viewers after Isaiah's use of the F word back on the "Grey's" set.

- I'm sure to get my Jim Halpert fix when "The Office" returns September 27 with four hour-long episodes! Woo! It will run against "Grey's Anatomy", which will take second place to The Guru and be watched on DVR at a later time. Sorry, Meredith. Maybe you shouldn't whine so much and I would watch you more.

- Apparently Shrek and Fiona have been getting busy after Shrek the Third because there are going to be two more movies in the series.

- Sharon Stone is dating Craig Ferguson, the Scottish host of The Late Late Show on CBS.

- Well, it's about time somebody beat the shit out of Andy Dick! Jon Lovitz was pissed over a comment Dick made about his old friend Phil Hartman a year ago. Dick told him, "I put the 'Phil Hartman hex' on you - you're the next one to die." Lovitz said, "I wanted to punch his face in, but I don't hit women." Apparently Dick is the one who gave Phil's wife, Brynn, cocaine after she had been sober for ten years. And months later, she shot Phil and herself. So when Lovitz saw Dick at The Laugh Factory last weekend, he expected an apology which he, of course, did not receive. He then "picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose." I can't say I blame the guy.

- Bridget Monyahan is set to give birth to Tom Brady's baby this Friday, which just happens to be his current girlfriend Gisele Bundchen's birthday. Tension is high and things aren't so great between Tom and Gisele, according to Page Six.

- High School Musical 2 will air on Disney on August 17 at 8pm. I still never saw the first one. I guess I should Netflix it... Strictly for the benefit of Pop Guru.

- Who knew there was such a demand for paternity tests and biracial relationships with redneck little people? "Maury" and "The Jerry Springer Show" have been renewed through 2010.

Photos: Ramey and Splash

Transform Your Mind!

I'm one of those people that will go see a movie even if I think it looks stupid. I want to see it so when people bring it up, I can go, "UGH!! That movie was awful! I can't believe you liked it. I mean, if I have to watch Cameron Diaz shake her ass one more time..." But I will see Cameron Diaz shake her ass one more time because I will inevitably see her next terrible movie...just to complain about it. It is a vicious cycle, my friends.

Well, this is what I was expecting when I entered the theater to see Transformers. All I knew about it was that there was some cartoon when we were little about cars that transform into robots or something weird like that and the kid from "Even Stevens" who is "the next Tom Hanks" was in it. But I also knew it was supposed to be the biggest movie of the summer, so I figured why the hell not? It'll give me something to complain about. Boy, was I ever wrong! This movie is awesome! Never in a million years did I think robot battles would be something I would be interested in, but it is! The digital work on this film is unbelievable! I actually believed Optimus Prime and Megatron were flying through the sky right at me! I kept hearing about how Shia LaBeouf is going to be the biggest star ever after this movie and I never doubted that fact. But now, I am a converted Shia lover! His comedic timing is priceless. I didn't think this movie would be funny, but it is quite entertaining in both drama and comedy. A dramedy, if you will.

Transformers isn't just for guys, but I will say that, of course, it appeals to men more than women. But seriously, who wouldn't believe that women in the CIA are eighteen and straight out of Playboy? C'mon, you know that's like a requirement to even be considered by the CIA. So if you have nothing to do one day, I highly recommend heading to the cinema to see Transformers. I found it thoroughly entertaining.

But on with the news...

- Us Weekly's cover this week features Nicole Richie and the line "Yes, She's Pregnant!" Sources also say she will be marrying the papa, Joel Madden of the band Good Charlotte. This is a pretty elaborate scheme to get out of the slammer if you ask me. Hopefully now she will eat something.

- E! News is reporting that Christina Aguilera is expecting a bundle of joy with her husband, Jordan Bratman.

- Heaven help us... Paris Hilton is taking acting classes.

- The "Sex and the City" movie is back on. Women across America rejoice and break out your Manolos, condoms, and Cosmopolitans!

- Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo were photographed getting down and dirty in a hot tub in Mexico on their anniversary. Nick had this to say about the scandal: "I was in Mexico with my girlfriend of a year, celebrating our anniversary on a private vacation. It's not like I was caught with a Mexican hooker."

- Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are supposedly getting married Friday (but I've also heard Saturday).

- Johnny Knoxville has filed for divorce after twelve years of marriage. Funny that he is the one filing for divorce. I didn't think any woman could put up with him at all, much less his love of nose candy, broken bones, stapling body parts together, letting alligators bite his nipples, getting hit with paint balls... Shall I go on?

- Drew Barrymore has been seen making out with... Zach Braff? Huh?! I didn't see this one coming!

- Perez Hilton is reporting that Rachael Ray and her husband, John Cusimano, are breaking up. However, Us Weekly says this rumor is just crap...like Rachael's food!

- Nelly Furtado is engaged to some dude named Demo Castellon.

- And finally, I'd like to explain to Britney Spears that an acting part in a movie is spelled "role". The Little Debbie snack she loves is called a Chocolate "Roll". I can see how she'd get confused... This is what Britney wrote on her website:



Photos: perezhilton.com, Wire Image, Us Weekly, Britney Spears' Website

This bitch is back!

What up, people?!?! After a couple weeks of luxurious vacay and some adjusting back to the real world, I'm finally getting around to posting after much harassment. So sorry!! I bet you didn't even know that Paris is out of jail without me around. Well, she is. And she's still full of shit.


- Paris Hilton has promised to devote her life to charity work now that she is out of jail. She is dressing more conservatively and vows to stop speaking so high (which happens when she is feeling nervous or shy, or whenever she feels like hiding her real man voice). But all these things can wait while she spends some time in the hotel pool in Hawaii. Wow... What growth.

- Oh, and one more thing... Did you believe Paris when she told Larry King she had never done drugs of any kind? Ha! Me neither!! Who did? But the celebutante must have forgotten about some home videos and pictures of her drug use. That lying beyotch!! Please to enjoy...


- I know this is the pot calling the kettle black (in a non-racist way), but damn, Oprah... Could you be anymore self-absorbed? Oprah is opening a store devoted to herself in Chicago where you can buy Oprah magazines, Oprah tote bags, Oprah DVDs, and anything else you might need to fill your Oprah void.

- iPhone was finally released on Friday. People began to line up last Monday to be first to purchase the $600 phone/iPod/web browser/camera. Apparently these people are rich and jobless because they had a free week to stand in front of the Apple store. Must be nice.

- Kevin Federline is refusing to sign divorce papers because of "concern over Britney Spears's recent behavior". When asked to elaborate, K-Fed said he is concerned Britney is spending far too little money and he is willing to be her shoulder to buy, uh cry, on.

- Jessica Simpson's new movie Blonde Ambition has been pushed back to a late August release date, supposedly because the movie is so horrible.

- Ryan Gosling has won a part in Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Lovely Bones. The book was pretty good and anything with Ryan is something worth seeing, so this might turn out to be a really good flick.

- Penelope Cruz pitched a fit when her plane was delayed and demanded she and her luggage be allowed to deplane. Really? This is possible? That would have been helpful to know last time I had to sit on the smallest plane ever for three extra hours because we were 70th to take off. I would have been arrested for a stunt like this, but Penelope gets away with it. I didn't like her much before, but now she has really taken the top spot on my shit list. Well, La Lohan is still #1, but Penelope is a close #2.

- In other celebrity bitchfit news, Jessica Alba had a women's bathroom closed off for ten minutes so she could relieve herself in private. I hear someone wet her pants while waiting in the very long line Alba created.

- The Spice Girls are reuniting for an eleven show tour at the end of this year. That news makes me really, really, really wanna zigazig ahhhh!! Sorry, that was weak, but I had to do it. Maybe this means a sequel to Spice World?! I sure as hell hope so.

- "The Two Coreys", a reality show featuring Corey Haim and Corey Feldman of '80s fame, will start July 29 on A&E. And I'll be there for every minute of it.

- The Live Earth concert takes place all day this Saturday, 7.7.07, and will air on Bravo.

- This week's "Rescue Me" ended with a bang... And one person isn't so happy about it. Click here to read about it, but only read this if you have seen this week's episode all ready.

- Cameron Diaz's most recent flame, magician Criss Angel aka Mindfreak, has been sued for divorce by a secret wife. Angel has been married to Joanne Sarantakos, but he kept the marriage a secret to vamp up his image with the ladies. Not even a magic trick could make me be attracted to this...



I am pretty busy these days, but I promise to make more of an effort to update the blog and keep you informed of what is going on in the celebrity world. Harassment welcome! Hope everyone is having a wonderful summer!! Happy July 4th!!

Photos: Finalpixx/perezhilton.com, The Smoking Gun, Diane Bondareff / AP file