Pop Guru's Annual Oscar Fashion Review!

Well, the beauty of borrowing internet is that it's unpredictable - I couldn't post my fashion review last night because my internet was out.  Guess I should pay for it!  What a fab show on Sunday!  Hugh Jackman, in all his girlish glory, actually did a pretty good job as the host.  I really liked the musical numbers, and what would any award show be without Beyonce forcibly thrusting herself into the spotlight.  The Oscars have nothing to do with you, you egotistical maniac!   You and Mama Tina need to realize the Dreamgirls moment has passed and finally accept the fact that Jennifer Hudson aka "American Idol" has an Oscar and you never will!  Beyonce is one unnecessary parade away from being Tyra Banks.

Although the show was ridiculously long, I loved the way past Oscar winners came out to introduce each nominee in the main categories.  Ben Stiller's impersonation of Joaquin Phoenix was hysterical and finally convinced me it's all a hoax.  My favorite moment by far was when Kate Winslet yelled out, "Dad, whistle or something so then I'll know where you are!"  So cute, and I'm really so happy for her that she was finally given the award she deserved.  Although, not so happy she chose such a matronly dress and hairdo.  Just cause you got the golden statue doesn't mean you need to dress like a Golden Girl!

I know I'm not the only one who thought it was cold hearted that they showed Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie during Jennifer Aniston's moment on stage. It was expected but I thought The Oscars might be better than that - boy, was I wrong! That was just so tacky. I absolutely loved Jennifer's hair, although it was "Hills" hair and I'll just have to come to terms with my support of that. Oh, who am I kidding?! I sport a ginormous Lauren Conrad Mark by Avon ring!

Now on to the fashion... Wasn't much to look at this year!  Most of it was humdrum or flat out ugly.  I'm talking about you, Miley.  I'm not sure if the stars are pulling a Nicolette Sheridan and being their own stylists because of the recession, but whatever the reason, they need a fashion bailout plan FAST!

Best Dressed:

Though Tina Fey didn't walk the red carpet, she was one of the most stunning of the night!  This dress fit her like a glove and it was just the right amount of cleavage, not overboard like she was at the Golden Globes!

Diane Lane hardly looked a day over 40! This really doesn't do her justice because she glowed on TV!

Taraji P. Henson was so cute and grateful to even be at The Oscars, but she really pulled off a classic red carpet look.  I loved her hair!  The small red handbag added just the right pop of color to the crisp white dress.

Ugh, as much as I hate to say nice things about Skeletor, I liked this ensemble.  Classic black dress with a grandiose flair by pairing it with sparkling green earrings.  I thought Debbie Matenopolus was going to hurl herself from the scaffolding upon Angelina Jolie when she arrived.  Debbie actually forgot she was on TV and started screeching "ANGIE!!!" and jumping up and down.  Like a real professional.  Debbie was having a major sugar rush from the one Skittle she had eaten that day, so her hysteria when she saw her Anorexia Idol was completely understandable.

By far the best and most fabulous of the night!  Natalie Portman dared to wear a flashy color, yet didn't overdo it a la Heidi Klum and opted for minimal jewelry.  Sophisticated yet bold - ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!

Worst Dressed:

Let ze Heidi Klum drape zeself in a red satin sheet that corresponds with ze gazillion Diet Coke Heart Healthy commercials that aired during ze telecast - no one will ever be ze wiser to ze subliminal messaging!  Oh Zack Morris, how you have taught me so much in ze ways of wiling women!  Auf wiedersehen!

Why must such a gorgeous girl pick such a terrible dress!  Freida Pinto has chosen gorgeous dresses all season long, and now she chooses this wretched thing with the mono sleeve?  Ew.  I have never been a fan of the one sleeve look - sleeves are meant to come with a partner or not at all!

Aside from looking like a rock opera costume gone wrong, Marion Cotillard's dress can't seem to decide if it wants to be short or long.  It cuts off mid-thigh, then decides to vomit out a mountain of tulle.  

Um, no.  Vanessa Hudgens looks like a teen Elvira.  Why must Disney Teens invade my award shows?  Doesn't she have a Nickelodeon's Kid Choice Awards she should be at right now?

Miley Cyrus = Hot Mess.  I don't even know what this is.  I feel as if it is something that might come from the sea, some kind of crackwhore mermaid emerging from the water to post YouTube videos and slowly destroy humanity.

This picture proves we should never let Whoopi Goldberg out of her cage.

Sarah Jessica Parker aka Wedding Barbie came out to play.

So did her boobs.

Be careful, Zac Efron.  We've watched a young hunk stop washing his hair and lose his charming good looks once before.  It can be a gradual decent into the pits of Bonaduce, but it can happen to you...

Just ask Mickey Rourke.

Photos: AP Images

OSCARS TONIGHT AT 8 ON ABC!

Hello, hello! Hope everyone is pumped about the Oscars tonight!! I know I am! I'm already watching the E! Preshow coverage. OMG - please stop grabbing your boobs, Debbie Matenopolous. Ugh, can't stand her. No wonder Barbara Walters kicked her off "The View." Anyhow, there's supposedly going to be a lot of suprises tonight - I sure hope so! I mean, not of the Chris Brown a la Grammys style, but you know something scandalous like a Brangelina-Aniston run in. Should be a fun night! Sidenote: Speaking of surprises, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are going to have another baby. Perhaps a sis for little Harlow.

Tonight's host is Hugh Jackman. Ol' Twinkle Toes is going to wow us with his singing and dancing, apparently trying to keep the entertainment as low budge as possible. Remember his musical CBS show "Viva Loughlin"? Yeah, nobody does since it was cancelled after one episode. I don't know if the world can handle any more of his musical stylings...

I gave some predictions after the nominations were announced, but just as a refresher:

Best Actor:
Richard Jenkins - The Visitor
Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk
Brad Pitt - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler

Showdown! The media is abuzz that this will be a head-to-head match between Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn. Rourke has been taking home all of the awards, including the Independent Spirit Award last night. He gave a bit of a rambling speech about his dog Loki that died last week and Eric Roberts, who he claims is one of the best actors around. If Eric Roberts is a fantastic actor, then Tila Tequila deserves to be noted for her amazing skills as an actress. Please. But we all know Mickey likes his "candy," which obviously leads to his rambling and fashion choices. The video is entertaining though - definitely take a look.

Sean Penn did a fantastic job in Milk. It really was a good film and he embodied Harvey Milk perfectly. He's always the media's Prince of Awards, so he may just take home the gold. It will be a fight to the finish between these two.

Best Actress:
Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie - Changeling
Melissa Leo - Frozen River
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kate Winslet - The Reader

This could be a toss-up. Every one of these women have been voted to win by the media outlets, so it could be a shock who wins. Anne Hathaway is so young, so I think it would be great for her to be given time to continue to hone her skills. It's most likely going to come down to Kate Winslet and Meryl Streep. Kate did a phenomenal job in The Reader. I loved her in that movie and definitely think she should win. But damn, does that girl love to be naked! I've seen her naked more than I've seen myself. She did just say she's going to stop with all the nudity in her films, but we'll see if she can stand the feel of clothing for too long.

Best Supporting Actor:
Josh Brolin - Milk
Robert Downey Jr. - Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon - Revolutionary Road

It seems like every category this year is unpredictable! This one will come down to Heath Ledger and Josh Brolin. Though Ledger is somewhat of a shoe-in, the media has been pushing for Brolin to win as of late. He did a great job playing the unhinged Dan White in the film, but the award could go to Ledger as people are wanting to honor him.

Best Supporting Actress:
Amy Adams - Doubt
Penelope Cruz - Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis - Doubt
Taraji P. Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler

I'm pretty certain this award will go to Penelope Cruz. Though I think she's terrible in most everything else, she was wonderful in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. She really added the pizazz to the film. I feel like she always wears the same style dress in light pink, so let's hope she opts to add some pizazz to her ensemble tonight.

Best Picture:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

Ah, the moment you've all been waiting for... My choice is Slumdog Millionaire, but I will still be a happy camper if The Reader takes home the gold. I loved both films and think they are both worthy of the win. Slumdog was more heartwarming though and has swept all of the award shows so far. Milk stands a chance, but not so sure it will be able to beat these other two. Curious Case has the most nominations with thirteen so it's bound to win something, just not this category. Frost/Nixon was good, but the film lost a lot of the power that the live performance had. The pivotal part when Nixon admits his wrongdoing is more of a passing moment, while it packed much more of a punch in the play. Worth seeing, but not worth the gold.

We'll see who wins tonight when the show starts at 8pm on ABC! I can't wait! Time to go prepare my dish for the Oscar Party! I'm so pumped about tonight's festivities. I'm most excited about the glamourous dresses, and of course the chance to judge celebrities! Look for my fashion update tomorrow. Everyone enjoy the show tonight!! I'll be Twittering throughout so follow me @PopGuru!