Academy Awards Fashion Coverage

It's so late and I'm oh so tired, so sorry to make this brief. But I didn't want to disappoint you and leave you hanging without knowing what I thought about last night's fashion. So here goes...

Worst Dressed:

Cate Blanchett - I'm probably going to get torn apart for this, but this is a hideous dress. She looks like a giant eggplant - and no, I'm not making fun of the fact that she is knocked up. Pregnant or not, this dress would still get my vote for worst dressed.


Penelope Cruz - It's no secret that I despise Penelope. How long have you been in America? It's about time to learn a little English. And how many times can she wear this same silhouette? Every damn time she wears a strapless dress with some sort of feather assortment. Get a new stylist and a speech coach.


Nicole Kidman - The Ice Princess stayed true to her nickname by wearing every diamond that ever existed with this dress. She could have down-played that just a smidge. And when she went to present, the necklace was drapped around her left breast. Was that on purpose, Nicole? You were just trying to show off your new boob, weren't you?


Anne Hathaway - I mean, leave the garden at home. Train wreck upon her shoulder.


Daniel Day-Lewis - Lose the earrings, Captain Jack Sparrow.



Best Dressed:

Cameron Diaz - As much as I hate to admit because I loathe Cameron with a passion, I actually like this ensemble. I can feel my dignity being stripped away by the second.


Marion Cotillard - There have been mixed reviews of this dress. Some people say she looked like a fish. But I really liked it! It fit her perfectly and if I could squeeze my ass into that dress, I would have worn it, too.


Katherine Heigl - Love the dress, hate the hair. Did Ken Paves get a hold of her? Really girl - how about drink the juice, Shelby, because that hair looks like it came straight out of Steel Magnolias. But awesome dress!


Heidi Klum - This dress is fabulous! Heidi rocked it.


Keri Russell - Absolutely love it!!!!! I'll be taking this picture next time I get my hair done to get this cute do. I love this girl. Love the dress. Love the hair. Love the jewels. She gets the ultimate best dressed award!


And now for my special awards...

What the F are you doing at the Oscars? Award:

Miley Cyrus - She annoys the crap out of me. Why were you at the Oscars? Victoria Beckham may as well have shown up if you were there. Paula Abdul - sure, come on down. We're so glad you could make it, Raven Symone. Why don't you just send out an invite to every asshole in Hollywood? Geez, I can't wait until she starts drinking.


Most Awkward and Inappropriate Moment Award:
Who else could this go to but Ryan Seacrest? I didn't see Maria Menounos anywhere so she must have sent her questions to Seacrest in advance. When he asked Jessica Alba if she was going to breastfeed her baby, Dick Clark rolled over in his grave. Wait, I think he is still alive. Regardless, he at least vomited over the tragic reality that his legacy is being shit on by Seacrest.

Photos: People.com