Queen Killa

Photo by: Tim Graham / Getty; Tim Ockenden / AP
- Prince William and Kate Middleton (who looks just like Lauren Conrad from "The Hills") have split, making room for me to become the future Queen of England.

- Shia LaBeouf, currently in Disturbia and the world's next biggest star, has signed on to play the role of Indiana Jones' son in the upcoming movie.

- Willa Ford will be starring as Anna Nicole Smith in the movie about her life. In a desperate attempt to become her character (and get some attention), she purchased an exact replica of Anna Nicole's pink bed designed by stereotype Bobby Trendy. Trendy will make a cameo in the movie as himself. This sounds like it will be the finest piece of cinema ever made.

- If you gag easily, do not read this story. Us Weekly reports that Paris Hilton and new man candy Josh Henderson of "Desperate Housewives" participated in a "makeout off" Tuesday night at LA club Area. When Paris saw her ex makeout partner Travis Barker snuggling with his rekindled flame Shanna Moakler, both couples engaged in a contest of disgusting PDAs "as if they were trying to one up each other". They are now in search of a sponsor for the contest and are hoping to make it an Olympic event. I'll let you know when tryouts are announced.

- Looking for some uplifting tunes? My new obsession is Mika's album "Life in Cartoon Motion". I highly suggest downloading it. You might recognize the song "Love Today" as the promo song on some of MTV's commercials for their Monday night lineup.

- Quote of the week: "And, like, I saw these magazines, and they said I was pregnant, and like it’s so true. Like, America, believe everything you read because like you’re smart and I’m stupid. Like for real. C’mon y’all.” - Britney Spears

Don't call me a stalker

Yesterday a friend and I encountered one Tim Gunn outside of the Marc Jacobs store in Greenwich Village. Despite my trying to pretend I have a life, I will drop anything to follow a celebrity. And that is precisely what we did. She got a good picture with her camera phone. Should I feel bad that we followed him home? Maybe. Do I? No.

Brangelina, Bennifer, and Calohn...

If I get my wish and start dating John Krasinski, our couple nickname would be "Calohn". What would you and your significant other's nickname be? Find out with USA Today's Nickname-o-Matic.

Despite all the Anna Nicole coverage, other things are going on in the world. Here are some highlights:

- Scarlett Johansson is now being linked with another hot guy in Hollywood... Ryan Reynolds. They have been seen eating together several times in Manhattan and one source says, "They were definitely holding hands." Reynolds and his fiancee of three years, Alanis Morissette, ended their engagement in February.

- Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy have been seen canoodling various places recently. I can see the connection there. At least he always has somebody to borrow eyeliner from.

- The Live Earth lineup has been announced. Tickets are available starting Monday, April 16. Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson, and Bon Jovi are among the acts. Red Hot Chili Peppers will only be playing in London. Speaking of charitable causes, anybody want to buy me a ticket to London?

- Snoop Dogg was charged with two felonies today for his arrests for gun and drug possession. He could be in jail for four years if convicted. For shizzle.

- He may as well just rent a cell. Jason Wahler of "Laguna Beach" was arrested AGAIN on Sunday morning. This is the fourth time he has been arrested in nine months. He was arrested in a Seattle hotel after police found him "very intoxicated" and wrestling with another male in the lobby.

- "Dancing with the Stars" host Samantha Harris is expecting a baby.

- Elisabeth Shue has been practicing her moves on the tennis court. The actress, who most of our generation knows from Adventures in Babysitting, hopes to one day compete professionally. She says, "I've been training so hard, now I feel like more of a tennis player than an actress."

Photo by: Dan Steinberg / AP; Kristian Dowling / Getty

"I Told You So"

That's what Larry Birkhead had to say when he approached the podium today at the press conference. Birkhead is the father, but he does not have legal custody of Dannielynn...for now. Dannielynn will have to stay in the Bahamas until the custody trial is over. Howard K. Stern says, "I am obviously very disappointed ... I am not going to fight Larry Birkhead for custody." He also said, "I will do everything I can to make sure he [Birkhead] gets sole custody."

Virgie Arthur did not state at the news conference today that she will fight Birkhead for custody, but she did say she "looks forward to working" with him regarding the future for Dannielynn. If she does fight for custody, she doesn't have a very good chance. Anna Nicole did not even speak to her mother. Also, in 1993, Donald Ray Hart Jr., Arthur's son, kidnapped a handicapped woman along with three other friends. They threatened her with a butcher knife and discussed how to kill her. Fortunately, they were caught before they could go through with their plans and the woman was rescued. Hart was sentenced to six years in jail for the crime.

As for Prince Frederic Von Anhalt, the husband to Zsa Zsa Gabor who also claimed to be Dannielynn's father, his reps released a statement to TMZ regarding the paternity. They said, "We never intended to take Dannielynn from anyone, we were just here in case Prince Von Anhalt was the father. We wish Larry luck in raising Dannielynn and we wish him the best."

There is a hearing on Friday, but all involved were mum as to what it is about. I'll keep you posted!

Thanks to perezhilton.com for the picture.

Larry Birkhead is Dannielynn's Father

Larry Birkhead has confirmed that he is the father of Dannielynn Hope after the results were revealed in court today. Howard K. Stern said previously that he will not fight Birkhead for custody, but Anna Nicole Smith's mother, Virgie Arthur, plans to battle Birkhead for little Dannielynn.

I'll let you know what other information I can find out.

Comedy Night Done Right

NBC has all new and expanded shows tonight. What used to be known as "Must See TV" starts tonight at 8pm with a forty minute episode of "The Office" followed by a forty minute episode of "30 Rock". Catch Will Arnett, my comedic crush and Amy Poehler's real-life husband, as Alec Baldwin's rival on "30 Rock" tonight. The only rerun is "My Name is Earl" with an episode featuring Roseanne, but I'm all right with that because I need to get my Roseanne fix any way I can.

Halle, "30 Rock", and much more

- Halle Berry finally got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, four years after she was supposed to.

- "30 Rock" has been renewed for another season. Yay!

- "7th Heaven", "The Black Donnellys", and "Six Degrees" are all kaput. The "7th Heaven" theme song will forever be burned into my memory though, so you might just get to hear it after a few drinks.

- Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan have been hanging out recently, putting to rest their five year long fued over Aaron Carter. Yeah, that's right. I said Aaron Carter. Could this have anything to do with La Lohan's image makeover and Duff's upcoming album? No. Never!

- Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper are both featured on the cover of Out magazine, although neither have ever admitted their sexual orientation.

- Keith Richards admitted to snorting a bit of his father's ashes with a little cocaine. Then he took it back. However, I would keep all urns under lock and key in case he ever does run out of the nose candy.

- Heidi Montag of "The Hills" got a boob job, which I'm sure Spencer requested.

- Few people showed up for the "Project Runway" auditions in LA, which could mean trouble for the show. What will I do without Tim Gunn in my life?

- Anna Faris of Scary Movie fame has filed for divorce.

- Woo! "Run's House" is back for another season next Monday on MTV.

- Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown will make their divorce official on April 24. No more drug-induced political arguments... Tear.

- A member of Three 6 Mafia's entourage pissed on Jennifer Love Hewitt's lawn, something she's been doing to our television lineup for years. Payback is a bitch, Hewitt.

Ok, I'm going to watch "Lost". Peace!

Picture courtesy of People magazine.

Links

I finally figured out how to post a link and you actually be directed to the correct website. If you see something underlined in the future, click on it. It's a video or a website I think you should see. I have already corrected the Alanis Morissette post below. Enjoy!

I shall miss you New York

So, I finally watched Borat last night. As much as I wanted to hate it, I have to say it was pretty darn funny. Don't expect me to be saying "Wa-wa-wee-wa" anytime soon though.

- The "I Love New York" finale was last night. I was shocked when New York picked Tango "to be her rock", and even more shocked when he gave her a real rock. I really wanted her to pick Chance so they could do a reality show on their life together, but I guess they'll just be doing a wedding planning show with her and Tango. I feel I should shed a tear for the end of this show, but only two more weeks until Monique's Charm School!! Don't judge me.

- Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's divorce was finalized last week. The media reports that she was going to the hospital for a toothache were false. She was really going to a lawyer's office next door to the hospital. FedEx only got $1 million in the settlement. How will he ever survive off that?

- Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, finally had her baby girl last night. The baby has not been named and will only be referred to as "Baby Brown" for now. A paternity test will be taken in the future to determine whether the baby daddy is Eddie Murphy or not. Maury Povich is standing by with his manila envelopehttp://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif ready to go.

- I got some good laughs out of Alanis Morissette's cover of "My Humps" this morning. Maybe you will enjoy it, too.

- Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez, producer of her new movie Grindhouse supposedly got it on during filming and may still be together after breaking up his marriage.

- There may be a convention for "The Office" in Scranton, PA next November. There will be screenings of old episodes and appearances by some of the cast members. Maybe this will finally be my "chance" meeting with John Krasinski.

- Speaking of "The Office", Ricky Gervais has decided to end his HBO show "Extras" with a star-studded Christmas special. He did the same with the original British version of "The Office". Madonna will supposedly make an appearance in the final episode.

- Bob Barker is retiring soon from "The Price is Right" and his replacement might be George Hamilton. From one super-tanned old perv to the next.

- Donald Trump kept his hair Sunday night. Damn!

- Scarlett Johansson's movie "Nanny Diaries" has been pushed back from its original release date in April until September to better their chances for award season. Um... Whatever you say. Usually when a movie gets pushed back, this means it's crap and they have to go back and reshoot. Only time will tell.

- Remember cute little Andy Keaton from "Family Ties"? Yeah... He's not so cute anymore. Former child actor Brian Bonsall, now 25, was arrested this weekend for throwing alcohol on his girlfriend while she slept, putting her in a choke hold, and then throwing her on the bed.

"Six Degrees" of Smith Jerrod

Yesterday I decided to watch a new episode of ABC's "Six Degrees". I only watched like two episodes of the show before it went on hiatus because I thought it was really sucky, to put it mildly. But boredom set in yesterday and our DVR is still recording it, so I gave it another shot.

I don't get this show. I mean I get that these people continue to have random connections in New York City, but this just isn't realistic. I have yet to form a relationship with the cop that I met on the subway that's stalking me. Anywho, I was extremely confused by one issue on this show. Smith Jerrod from "Sex and the City", aka Jason Lewis, is doing it with Bridget Monyahan on "Six Degrees" on Friday nights. Yet, on Sundays, I can catch him doing it with one of the brothers on ABC's "Brothers & Sisters", the other show I think is sucky but keep watching each week waiting to be wowed because all of my female friends think it is fantastic (I can't decide if I don't like the show because of its content or because I despise Calista Flockhart). I can't keep up. Is Jason Lewis gay or straight? Is he dating Bridget or Samantha? Is ABC that starved for actors that they recycle them in all of their new shows? What is this - The WB?

I will not be watching "Six Degrees" again. It doesn't really have a chance anyway seeing as ABC brought it back after a very long hiatus and put it on the Friday night lineup. Also on this episode, Probie from "Rescue Me" made an appearance. If this means he won't be returning to the firehouse in June, I will be irate! Anyway, just thought I would share my thoughts on the subject. Have a good day!