Monday, March 8, 2010

Pop Guru's 2010 Oscar Fashion Review

Last night's Oscars were unpredictable, but nothing was as unpredictable as the dresses that came down the red carpet. One by one, the stars waltzed down the red carpet and with each dress that passed by the camera, a little part of me died inside. Welcome to the year of the neutral! Almost everyone was wearing some shade of nude/metallic/gold. Um, hello - a little pop of color is not going to kill you! Regardless of the pathetic display that was the red carpet last night, you still deserve my annual review. Without further ado, please to enjoy...Pop Guru's Annual Oscar Fashion Review!

Best Dressed

Disclaimer: I realize most of you will disagree with my choices, but please know that there wasn't much to choose from. These picks were as big of a stretch as one of Nicole Kidman's face lifts.



At first I was totally against this, seeing as it looks a little bit like she fashioned the Golden Girls tablecloth into a dress. But the more I look at the entire ensemble, the more I like it. Not her best choice ever, however, not terrible.


I have no idea why Cheryl Hines was at the Oscars, but girl looked great!


You know I am REALLY struggling if I have to choose Queen Latifah as Best Dressed. I blame Charlize for this. Shame on you, Charlize.


Paula Patton is pregnant, for goodness sakes, and she was still able to pick a fabulous dress! She's about to give birth on the red carpet yet she's capable of standing up straight. Take notes, Miley.


This one pains me most of all. I loathe Cameron Diaz and her aggressive need for attention (not that I know anything about that), but alas, she looked good last night. Hopefully, I'll never have to go against my morals like this again. Damn you for this, Charlize.



Worst Dressed

In honor of the Academy honoring ten nominees for Best Picture this year, Pop Guru has decided to follow suit and nominate ten people for Worst Dressed. Simply because there were just too many to narrow it down to only five. This could have been your chance to get on my good side, Miley. Better luck next year.


I just want to know what asshole told Zoe Saldana that it's ok to show up to the Oscars farting hydrangeas.



The pixie look, the goth dress, the knives and forks and whatever else bedazzlement. Obviously Carey Mulligan just wants to edge out Kristen Stewart as Queen of the Hipsters, but she's going to have to start showering a hell of a lot less to accomplish that.


You take four hundred coffee filters, dye them red, and get a Japanese origami artist to configure them into a dress - viola! Vera Farmiga now has the perfect dress to wear for the only Oscar nod she is ever going to get.


Mama always told me to stand up straight, but I never listened. Forgive me, Mother, for I have sinned. I should have listened to you so I wouldn't look like a train wreck like Miley Cyrus.


Woman! What are you doing to me?! Faith Hill is one of the few Southern celebrities that I like, and then she turns up in one of Lisa Marie Presley's hand me downs? Absolute disgrace.


I get it that you are obsessed with Chanel, Diane Kruger, but this is taking it too far. If you paid me $10,000 to shred my goose down comforter and glue it into a dress, that is the only way I would be ok with this look.


This dress almost blends into Demi Moore's skin color. You know nude is too nude when I think you are actually naked until I see the mass of ruffles around your ass.


Is Charlize Theron updating Madonna's 80s cone bra look? Making a play on Princess Leia? Or is she just craving Cinnabon? Is this multiple choice or can I select all of the above?


If Patricia Fields took a shit on a sheet and called it fashion, Sarah Jessica Parker would still wear it and call it fabulous. And that's exactly what happened here, ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the sheet, and SJP just shat all over the red carpet.


Saddam Hussein was allowed out for the big event and Elvira was nice enough to go as his date.


Photos: Wireimage

Sunday, March 7, 2010

2010 Academy Awards - Pop Guru's Picks for Best Pic

The Olympics may happen once every four years and most people get excited for the events, but I couldn't care less about that. I only look forward to one day every year (my birthday lasts a whole week so that doesn't count), and that night is finally upon us. It's time for the Academy Awards Ceremony!! I've got the champagne chilling and I'm ready to judge every dress that walks down the red carpet. Looks like I only post once a year now, but I didn't want to disappoint for The Oscars.

This year's Oscars presented a huge problem for me. For four years now I have completed my Annual Oscar Challenge, in which I have to watch all five nominees for Best Picture. For my fifth year, Oscar decided to up the ante and nominate TEN films for Best Picture. Not only dId this mean I had to watch ten movies in the one month I have after the nominees are announced, but this meant I'd have to pay $125 to achieve this due to outrageous NYC theater prices AND this amount of time could cut into my heavy drinking/social schedule. Alas, I rose to the challenge, found an actor friend in SAG with a bunch of nominees on DVD, and managed to watch all ten best picture nominees before tonight's ceremony. Five years running... This calls for a glass of champ!

Here are my thoughts on this year's Best Picture nominees:

Up - I really liked this flick. It's actually a bit depressing and hard for a childrens movie, but many animated movies these days are actually tailored to adults rather than children. I thought it was a really good film, but I feel it's going to be a long time before an animated film takes home the top prize.

Up in the Air - While I thought this was good and didn't mind staring at George Clooney for two hours, I don't get what all the hype was about. George sort of breezes through each role these days, and they are all some sort of variation of Danny Ocean - this just happened to be corporate drone Danny Ocean. I wasn't wowed by this like the rest of America and definitely don't think it should win. I get it - Jason Reitman is the offspring of Hollywood Royalty, but that plus a Hollywood Hottie in the starring role shouldn't be the reason a film gets a lot of attention.

District 9 - This movie completely surprised me. I was not excited about having to watch a sci-fi alien movie and dreaded putting this in the DVD player. The beginning was slow and did nothing for me, but then a human started to turn into an alien and things started to pick up. I got sucked in and found myself really loving it. I don't undrstand how they made this film on such a small budget. It was extremely entertaining for me and I definitely recommend this, but I don't think it should take home the gold. However, I do like that this film was recognized overall.

An Education - This movie probably made me angrier than most. This young girl gives up her education to be with some tool older guy who steals for a living. Really, girl? Good life choice. Her parents, who should be pushing her to complete her schooling, actually encourage her to drop out of school now that she's found a man. And then when it all blows up in her face, she is still capable of completing her education and gets into Oxford - no consequences for her actions. But regardless of the fact that I wanted to strangle everyone on the screen, I feel like this could happen to anyone - wrapped up in some man promising you the world then shattering it right before your eyes. It was a magnificent way to tell an age old story, and Carey Mulligan did a phenomenal job playing the doe-eyed innocent.

A Serious Man - I'm a huge Coen Brothers fan and have seen every film they've made. They're quirky, they're violent, they're ironic - what's not to like? But dude, what the fuck was up with this movie? I don't know, maybe it's because I'm not Jewish so I wasn't in on the inside joke, if there even was one. What was that opening scene about the is-he-or-isn't-he-dead Jewish man? And how did that correlate to the rest of the movie in any way? Why didn't the main character ever stand up for himself? Why did he keep seeking advice from idiots? And what did the tornado at the end have anything to do with the rest of the movie? This left me horribly bored and utterly confused. I don't recommend anyone ever watching this. Seriously, ever. Unless maybe you are Jewish and could give me some insight.

The Blind Side - While I'm not a fan of commercial movies taking home Best Picture, I loved this movie. Sandra Bullock is always a favorite and absolutely the best pick to play this role. It was such a funny and inspirational flick, it was just something fun to watch. I definitely don't think it should win, but I rather enjoyed it and give it props for surprising me.

Avatar - Despite the two fire alarms that hindered my viewing, I rather enjoyed Avatar. James Cameron is a tool and a half, but that man sure knows how to make a bang for his buck. He forced hundreds of theaters across America to buy 3D equipment just for this film, and it has already surpassed his record for Titanic making this the highest grossing film in history. This movie is fun to watch and I was shocked that even my mom enjoyed it - forget the Oscar, this fact alone should be award enough for James Cameron. The effects were amazing, storyline familiar but a nice refresher, and who am I to complain about watching Sam Worthington? Should it win? I'm not so sure, but even if it doesn't, this definitely takes home the award for being the biggest film of the last year.

Precious - Talk about slit your wrists depressing. Geez, what else could happen to this poor girl? Sexual and domestic abuse, 2 kids at the age of 16, HIV - I was half expecting her to get hit by a bus at the end, just as icing on the cake to her troubles. While Gabourey Sidibe did a good job as Precious, Mo'nique absolutely stole the show. Years of watching her in Queens of Comedy and The Parkers (and yes, you better believe I watched The Parkers, BET on Sundays, baby) were washed away watching her as the evil mom of Precious. The last scene alone should secure her win as Best Supporting Actress - that scene was the only thing in any of these movies that absolutely blew me away. I will never revisit this movie ever so as to ensure I keep my sanity and don't jump off of a bridge, but I will always applaud Mo'nique for one of the finest performances I have ever seen.

Inglorious Basterds - I typically like anything Quentin Tarantino does, and this movie was no exception. I don't really know if it's possible or even right to have a "fresh take" or "reimagining" of any part of WWII, but if there was ever going to be a way, Tarantino was of course the only man to find it. Inglorious Basterds used a lot of Tarantino's usual techniques AKA stories through chapters. I really like this film, despite the bad Tennessee accent on Brad Pitt. Definitely not the top winner, but entertaining nonetheless. Keep 'em coming, Tarantino.

The Hurt Locker - I didn't know what to expect of this film, but I had heard nothing but good things about it. It was one of the last films I watched out of the 10, and probably the best. It was terrifingly nerve-wracking to watch these men walk to their inevitable death, torn with emotions over lost friends yet getting up every day and doing it all over again. This may have been the best because it's so real and the reality of these men's situations now - yet something I'm thankful I never have to deal with or think about. They go through sheer terror every day for a year, get a short time at home, then start it all over again, never knowing which bomb is going to be the one to finally do them in. And is it so terrible that all this made me love Jeremy Renner? This one is my pick for Best Picture, but honestly this is the first year I have no idea who is going to take home the gold. It will most likely go to Hurt Locker or Avatar, but we'll have to wait and see what happens.

I will be watching and judging right along with y'all tonight. Of course, I'm most excited about those dresses! Enjoy the show!

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